We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
