Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize