That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
so much tequila, so little girl.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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