I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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