Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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