you guys were way drunker than both of me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
