you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
