If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
