So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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