I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
