its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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