Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
