I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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