So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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