I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
