From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
