My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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