Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
