She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
