apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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