This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
