apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize