I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
