ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
