Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is it penis luge time yet?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm really busy with my period
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