Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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