I wannas sexs uuuuu
What a fucking waste of an outfit
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
