i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
