No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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