i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
