I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
