How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
