Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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