They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
