is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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