the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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