$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
