if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize