so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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