we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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