I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
do herpes really smell.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
