porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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