She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
