I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he puts the penis in happiness.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
