Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
