Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
