Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
