is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
