you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You smell like stripper and shame
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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