Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
