I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
