I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
