my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
