I didn't shave. On purpose
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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