is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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