It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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