i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
pray to the hookup gods
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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