mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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