I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
