im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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