I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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