have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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