I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
