fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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