chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
