my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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