she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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