I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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